No English cricketer has got so rich so fast but the all-rounder’s figures do not add up to a career as successful as it should be
A few months ago a study was published warning against the use of hand dryers in public lavatories because of the high density of airborne human waste particles. Turning on a hand dryer hugely accelerates the rate at which these circulate the room. So, to take a topical example, when Madonna lingers sensually over the jet from a hot-air dryer in the iconic video to the No 1 hit Get Into The Groove she is basically bombarding her own face with particles of human excrement, blowing accumulated toxic faecal matter directly into her eyes, nose, mouth and hair.
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Not since 13 August 1955 has a Test in England started on a Saturday, when Peter May captained a team featuring Brian Close, Denis Compton and Jim Laker against South Africa at the Oval (they would win by 92 runs). Fast-forward through 63 years of mostly Thursday starts – with a few Fridays, Wednesdays and, in 2014, a Sunday – and we are in the midst of a five-Test series being played over a breakneck 42 days.
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